Linda Meckler

How many times have you been married? How many times divorced? Every time you get married and divorced you now have collected one more name. If you have answered yes or no to any of these questions, read on.Tonight I was at a meeting and had to sign a roster. The woman who signed her name ahead of me on the roster hyphenated her name. She is recently married and decided to keep her maiden name. Of course, one man had to make a remark about the hyphenated name which drew a group of people. All the interested parties had a different view point on the hyphenated name.When you think about this a woman when she marries literally gives up her entire identity when she says, “’I do.” If this woman is a business woman and has made a name for herself in her own field, why should she not keep her own name and hyphenate it. With this hyphenation joining her last name and her new spouse’s last name together, the hyphenation takes on a much more intimate situation.Of course men are going to laugh about a woman who has a hyphenated name. The male likes to be in control and in some cases feel like they own their spouse. When their spouse continues to hold onto a part of her identify, yes it would scare most men and some women.There are other ways you can change your name without getting married. This information pertains to both women and men. You can change it legally in a court of law. I have met many people who have gone through this legal procedure to add or remove one letter from their first name. There name was that important to them. Our names are important to us to live our everyday lives. Unfortunately, it is something our parents dreamed up, and we are the ones who have to live with the results.There are several reasons why we change our names besides being born with them and marrying into them.

(1)   Divorced

(2)   Trying to be deceitful and outwit the law in numerous ways.(3)   Identify theft.If you are really serious about changing your name these are some of the facts to consider:(1)   Attorney costs.(2)   The Paperwork and time needed to fill out forms.(3)   The forms must pertain to the state you reside in.(4)   Make sure you spell all the names on the form correctly.(5)   You will need a birth certificate.(6)   Sometimes the papers need to be notarized.(7)   Usually a filing fee.If you decided to contact an attorney, you can breathe a sign of relief, the mess is in capable hands and all you have to do is pay the bill. Another alternative is a paralegal. A paralegal is knowledgeable in the legal process of changing your name, will cost less, and can get the job done correctly.There are many websites on the Internet which advertise name change kits. All you do is fill out a form and pay $40.00. Your dream of your name changed will be right at your finger tips. No fuss no muss. Cautious! Be very cautious. Whenever you are handling any legal matters I say leave it to the legal heads. The attorneys and paralegals have the knowledge and expertise to complete your name change correctly the first time.Nobody wants to take time out of their precious day and sit in a courtroom and wait for their docket number to be called. They do not want to put their names and new life into the hands of a judge who does not know them personally.It is true, the judge does not know you personally, and does not know how important your new name means to you, and what a huge decision this was to make both mentally and financially. Take a deep breathe and relax. It will all be over in a matter of minutes, and you will be legally the person you have dreamed about being, with the legal documentation to prove it.When we talk to our friends and bring up the topic of name collecting, it can be vastly humorous. Names can be collected like candy and some are sweet and some are bitter when they flow from the tongue.The people who get married, and married and married have so many names it’s a wonder they can keep track of them. I wonder if their documentation is always up to date.

The most important documentation to change is:

l. The Post Office

2. Relatives

3. Friends

4. Social Security Office

5. Employment

6. Credit Card

7. Drivers License

Your bills will find you by your address. If you thought once my name is changed I am free of debt think again. You are still legally responsible for and debt incurred in your previous name.

When there are children involved, the children usually have different last names. This leads to confusion, at school, in their split family lives, in their children’s minds, and living in general. It creates chaos in the family even when you are not aware of this fact.

When there are multiple children in the family and they come from, yours, mine and ours the last names are numerous and the children can get lost in the confusion. All children want to be accepted by their parents and by their friends. 

When the subject of explaining the difference in their last names to their friends a child might lie; subconsciously this can change the course of their life. Children can lose their sense of identify, their self-esteem can be crushed before it has even had time to bloom. Children can also change their names. If their mother is recently married and their last name is different it can be changed to their mother’s new last name. This gives the child a sense of security. It can also be changed when the child’s is adopted by his new parent. Not only is the child’s name legally changed in the court but now the child really is a member of her new family. The child now can really feel secure and her self-esteem will definitely strive for the moon. Many times when there is a marriage and children are involved the children are not adopted, but continue to use their own name. Financial reasons are a strong factor in these cases. Feeding, clothing and sending a child to school each year increases, and when there is more than one child involved; adding one more child to the budget can be devastating. There are some things you can not put a price tag on and this is one of them. Making a child feel secure, loved and accepted into a new family is the most important reason of all to adopt your new child.Linda Meckler is the author of her first book, “Ghost Kids Trilogy. 3 complete books in one book. Christy, 12 and her Brother, Brad 16 move into an old house on top of a mountain. They meet to Ghost Kids and the amazing adventures start and never end until the last page. You will meet Uncle Charlie the villain of the Book (2) Blue Vase Mystery Parents and Book (3) Pirates’’ Treasure – the hunt. Parents love my book, positive family values are portrayed. Linda has posted on her website 4 Electronic books How to Appeal Medical Bills, Appeal/Collection Letters for Medical Providers, Boost Your Self-Esteem and Blossom and Stop Computer Pain. Visit Linda’s website at www.lmeckler.com/store. This article was printed in the Asian Journal USA.